Tuesday 20 November 2007

What is it about 3am?!

I don't know if Matchbox Twenty chose 3 am as opposed to 2 or 4 for a reason, but whenever unwanted thoughts kill my sleep, and i finally give up and switch on the light in exasperation, it is that particular wretched hour give or take about twenty minutes. I love my sleep. Crankiness invades if at least 8 solid hours have not been had. But tonight it is not to be, and rather than tear the sheets with too much kicking and twisting, Im up drifting through random google searches. "Orange clocks" brings up some kinda funky images! Also, I couldn't get a half line of the Simon and Garfunkel song "Flowers never bend with the rainfall" out of my head, which turned out to rather eerily sum up exactly how I feel right now. I haven't heard it or thought about it in at least 2 years. Thumbs up for the sub conscious.

Through the corridors of sleep
Past the shadows dark and deep
My mind dances and leaps in confusion.
I don't know what is real,
I can't touch what i feel
And i hide behind the shield of my illusion.

So i'll continue to continue to pretend
My life will never end,
And flowers never bend
With the rainfall.

It's no matter if you're born
To play the king or pawn
For the line is thinly drawn 'tween joy and sorrow,
So my fantasy
Becomes reality,
And i must be what i must be and face tomorrow.

There is something comforting about finding how I feel put into words far more cleverly than I could hope to, with a lilting, almost happy tune to go along with it :) Its so much more of an effective tonic than the wailing and wallowing that most modern songs seem to do. Although I might be generalizing unfairly, as the brain with no sleep is having vague painful flashbacks of songs that whined for 4 minutes straight. If you're complaining, you could at least refrain from overdosing the listener with it.

Sunday 18 November 2007

To do list for summer 2007

  • Learn to surf
  • Get drivers licence
  • Recover crazy wild self. Rather miss that self
  • Read books already bought before buying more
  • Focus!! Be a nerd. Well, during the semester that is.
  • Find an interesting volunteer job.
  • Kick the addiction to airports.
  • Write
  • Say yes
  • Start the photography thing again
i.e - get a life.