Saturday 21 March 2009

Life can be so sweet, on the sunny side of the street

So during one of my Psyc labs this week, we had to fill out yet another tedious questionnaire about the meaning of life. Anyway, while trying to choose a number to represent how I felt about my search for meaning, it dawned on me that I'm no longer particularly fussed about having a purpose/ some driving force/ greater meaning to my life. I used to be quite horribly tormented by it, i.e. it would delay my sleep by sometimes an hour *gasp* - I jest, you know what I mean.

Doing horrible commerce subjects and walking out of classes with a far deeper understanding of Pink Floyd's brick in the wall analogy than I would wish on even people I dislike, there was a constant feeling of unease. This is back when everything was mapped out in with a large amount of certainty: internship -> part time job -> grad job -> career. All I had to do was plod along accordingly, which I was doing with a restlessness under the skin, between organs somewhere deeper than scratch-able depth.

Now, I haven't a clue where my life is headed, got a weeiiirrd combination of degrees that may or may not work out and may or may not be able to get me hired at the end, and I've never felt more secure about life in general and self in particular.

I haven't really found Purpose in my life, but I'm finding the present too enjoyably satisfying to be looking for it as such. It'll turn up one day when I least expect it and surprise me. Or maybe not turn up at all and that might actually be okay!

3 comments:

Sachini said...

exactly how i feel at the moment :D and gotta love the look on people's faces when i tell them i have absolutely no idea what i'm going to do once the degree is completed.

Anonymous said...

Ah! you! finaly back blogging i see...sucha bum you've been ah! poor blog??? poor me for constantly checking and seeing "not so organized chaos" over and over again! :p

As for not knowing...i dont know...your doom-ed!!! :p Whats the hurry child??? give it time and do what you like...thats the zen master advice i give EVERYONE!!! (apparently its good lu)

Sunshine Junkie said...

Sach - hehe yuppp its a interesting enough reaction here where ppl are generally happy go lucky in SL would be absolutely hilarious :D

KK - lol... i know i know i totally am a lazy bum... this writing thing doesn't happen on tap no! Yuppp that def does sound like good advice, I reckon if you are good at whatever you do then its going to be ok in the end or at some point.