Memo

Good resolutions involve cleaning, clearing, filing, organising, alphabeticalising, colour-coding and writing lists. Usually a happy process, because of course, from now on I will be organised, and efficient and responsible and not a procrastinator. In the middle of the back patting and general sense of purpose, an awful doomed feeling crashed the party. I've done this sooo many times in my [shortish] life so far. The clean desk, the suddenly filled with writing organiser. And it keeps coming back to this. It's scary to think that lucking out is most likely a scarce commodity which has been mined as if it were unlimited. Yikes. The lucky streak is going to run out. I don't want to be bankrupt!! 

Never want to do this again. There's a limit to optimism, it needs some help from reality to keep going. It's Autumn: running out of new leaves to turn.